Boys Don't Cry

Today I was casually going through my Facebook homefeed and I came across this caption that said "Boys Don't Cry", so naturally I was intrigued. The video was created by Vogue India and based on the title, "#StartWithTheBoys", I assumed that this video aimed to show the cultural bias in which boys are taught at a young age that they shouldn't cry.

And for the most part, I thought that they depicted it well...

Here we are shown the life of a young Indian man as he goes through his life learning that boy's don't cry. At this point, I was getting excited because I thought that the goal of the video was to show that there's nothing wrong with crying. 

Finally, a video that speaks about masculinity issues

My imagination jumped ahead and I was looking forward to the last scene in which I assumed that the young man would grow up to be a father and he would hold his baby boy in his arms and tell him that it was OK to cry. He would teach the young boy that there's nothing wrong with crying, regardless of gender. But then the video moves into this scene:

Here, we see an emotionless man (who resembles an Indian Edward Cullen, am I right?) who has just battered his partner. Okay.... so what I interpret from this scene is that raising boys to think that it's not OK to cry leads to violence. And then here's the kicker...

THAT'S HOW THEY CHOSE TO END THIS VIDEO?!

Here's what I have a problem with:

1) All boys/men cry and that's OK. If you're a guy and you're reading this, don't pretend that you don't. Boys shouldn't be told not to cry. Enforcing this social "norm" is oppressive. It's telling society that if you are a boy, you're not supposed to express your emotions and that there's nothing manly about it. This video did not even speak about that. 

2) The video remarks that "only girls cry." So? Is that a bad thing? I can't believe that a video aimed at protecting women also implies girls as a negative connotation.

3) What does a man not being able to cry have to do with domestic abuse? Does that mean that all cryers don't abuse their partners?  I get that men who don't cry are usually rigid, but there are also many reasons why men abuse their partners. This usually comes from a need for power and control, which stems from low self-esteem. Although the societal rule that boys don't cry is a contributing factor, it's not the factor. 

4) Men are not responsible for my happiness. I'm responsible for my happiness. If a man is abusing me, I'm out of there. Sure, it's easier said than done in some cases, but still. How about teaching all children how to treat others? Why is it that we have to teach boys how to treat girls? Wouldn't it be more fruitful if we taught our children to treat everyone with respect and dignity? What does gender have to do with it? End of the day, we're all human.

I appreciate Vogue India for continuing the discussion of domestic violence, but I think they went about it all wrong. I genuinely thought that this video was aimed at eradicating the idea that a manly man does not cry and so I was disappointed with how the video ended.

If Justin Timberlake is able to Cry a River after his break up with Britney, I don't see why you can't either.. and yet, that man is still damn fine.