Monday, 6 October 2014

There she is, Miss America

This week I watched a brilliant video by John Oliver as he takes an intellectual/satirical approach to dissecting beauty pageants. Growing up, I've never really been a fan of watching these pageants, and quite frankly, I hated the fact that they always interrupted whatever show that was previously programmed to air. Rude. How could they move aside the Simpsons for this?

These days though, I find that I still don't like pageants...but for other reasons. All in all, you're probably going to get a biased opinion here. For the sake of research, I wanted to sit through the pageant and really absorb what it's about, but to be honest, I can barely sit through 10 minutes of it. I really don't see the point of it. Women dress up, look pretty, walk up and down a run way and are evaluated on... beauty? How well they can walk in a straight line? How well they matched their bikini to their lipstick? How well they can answer a question in 20 seconds? 

From what I've heard and in what I've seen, my understanding of pageants is that it's a competition and that there's some prize money associated with it. I have no quarrels with this. I like a little competition as much as the next person. Throw some prize money in there and you got a deal. Hell, you're talking to Miss "sits around the radio waiting to be caller number 9 so I can win some random prize" over here. However, what I do find annoying is the emptiness of the competition. 

Again, what am I being evaluated on? I went on the Miss America website and found this:

Finals Competition Scoring

The scoring for the Miss America Finals Competition is weighted accordingly:

Composite Score- 30% (Top 16)
Lifestyle and Fitness in Swimsuit - 20% (Top 16)
Evening Wear- 20% (Top 10)
Talent- 30% (Top 8)
On Stage Question (Top 8)
Final Ballot

Source: http://www.missamerica.org/news/press-kit/national-judging-process.aspx

Here's what I have a problem with: 

1) Lifestyle and Fitness in Swimsuit:

Ok, so you look great in a swim suit. You must have worked really hard to get there. I'm not even being sarcastic . Anyone who has ever been to a gym religiously knows how hard it is to maintain a nice body so koodos to you for sticking to your guns and achieving it. But, so what? You have a nice body. Great. Now what? Why is your body shape so important that it has to be rated? Why do I care what kind of body you have? 

What's the criteria here anyway? Are we looking at size ratios? Are we looking to see if you have a thigh gap? flat stomach? muffin top?  How can anyone standardize the definition of a beautiful body? What does a beautiful body even look like?

2) Evening wear:

What are we really judging here? Your taste in dresses? How well you can pull off a dress? What happens if you pick out a hideous dress? Do we blame the dress for your low score? It's the dress' fault that you didn't win Miss America? Why is this category even relevant? So many questions.

3) On stage Question:

What are we really proving here? How well someone can answer a question in 20 seconds? John Oliver says it best in that even the president cannot come up with an answer that quickly. By the way, did anyone actually notice that the contestants are not even evaluated on their answers? There's no weighted value associated with it. So basically, you can have a kick ass solution to world hunger, but it doesn't count towards anything.

Besides, I'm no expert on the matter, but I've never actually seen Miss America (or any other pageant winner) acting on any of the things that they claim they would do. I feel that they just tell us what we want to hear and pretend like these are the issues that really matter to them.

Overall, I believe that pageants are designed to showcase outer beauty. I'm not saying that outer beauty isn't important, but that there is more to an individual than how he or she presents themselves. I thought that the question and answer portion of the competition was the most bearable because it provides an opportunity to pick out their brains but, as you can see, it doesn't even matter in the end. It barely has any weight in the outcome. Why aren't we praising people for their intellect or their achievement? Why are we not showcasing women who think outside the box in order to make a difference in the world? Why are we so hung up in finding women in bikinis and evening gowns attractive and not women in lab coats? When was the last time your regular programming was interrupted for the Nobel Prize Award Ceremonies? Think about THAT.

I seriously recommend watching the full video...


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