Mean Girls

Mean Girls

If you’ve ever watched Mean Girls, you would know that girls can be quite cruel. I’m no exception. I’ve had my fair share of experiences with a burnbook, a permanent position at the rumor mill, and have been caught in the middle of several non-sensible girl dramas.  As much as I would hate to admit it, I was quite proud of my burnbook… although I never called it that. I would describe what went in it, but I won’t because 1) This is the god damn Internet and the girl(s) I tortured could figure out that I was writing about them and 2) the idea is pretty genius and I don’t want to inject my cruel idea into the minds of a young girls. Besides, in this day and age, I’m sure someone out there has already devised something much unkinder.

Knowing how cruel girls can be through my experiences as both a victim and torturer, I resolved to only make friends with males. I felt that males were so much easier to talk to. They didn’t judge the outfit I had on, they were more likely to tell me the cold hard truth, better wing men (not that I would need the help ;) ) and better confidantes. I have never known a guy to spill my secrets. Tell a woman the same secret and forget about it. It’ll be plastered on the front page of the Toronto Star the next morning.

I’m not the only one who thinks this way. Many women share the same opinion. So much so that author Roxanne Gay dedicated a whole chapter in her book, “Bad Feminist” on female friendships and why it’s important to maintain them. Gay reminds us that there’s a cultural myth that female friendships are “bitchy, toxic and/or competitive” This may be true of some (unhealthy) friendships but this is not its defining characteristic.

Ladies, think about the good friendships you do have. How many of you can say that you can replicate the same feelings you have with your girlfriends with your male friends? Think about all the times you’ve cried laughing with your girlfriends while watching Legally Blonde for the 100^th time.  How many times you’ve shared in each other’s pain through menstrual cramps? How many times have you and your girlfriends binged on chocolate thanks to your cravings? Who came shopping with you for an outfit, only to come out empty handed several hours later? Who was there for you to vent to after you’ve had a bad date? Who can understand you better after a grueling workweek with your horrible boss? There are so many things that you can have with a female friendship that male friendships can’t offer… and realizing this is important.

As feminists, how can we hold equality close to our hearts if we, ourselves, exclude females from our circle of friends?  How can we fight for equality if we don’t treat each other as our own equals?  Gay reminds us to abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships are poisonous. It slows women down. Don’t let a few bad seeds ruin your image of the female friendship. To quote Gay, “ If you feel like it’s hard to be friends with women, consider that maybe women aren’t the problem. Maybe it’s just you."

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“From the Sidelines” is the section of the blog where I post links/ information about the pop culture references or resources I may have used in today’s post.

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay ISBN- 978-0-06-228271-2

Mean Girls-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR528E5_8yI

Legally Blonde- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aba_Om2NPLc

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Wannabe

Artist: Spice Girls

Album: Spice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQ