Cookie Cutter Feminism: It doesn’t exist
We can’t all be the same kind of feminist
Like I’ve mentioned before, I took a gender studies elective in school. Here, we were exposed to several feminist theories that emerged over time as a result of the yesteryears. After learning about a handful of theories, three stood out to me:
1. Liberal feminism: these feminists believe that even though women are biologically different, they are still human and therefore should be treated equal in all aspects of life. Liberal feminists aim to put women in the work force in such a way that there is no discrimination in gender. Here, women are encouraged to personify male qualities, such as aggressiveness and power, to succeed in the workplace. Think Jessica Pearson from Suits. She would do liberal feminists proud.
2. Radical feminism: the notion that men and women are different, but equal. Emphasis in this theory is put on qualities that make women unique as a way to empower women. Such qualities include nurturance, empathy and compassion.
3. Psychoanalytical feminism: women and men are forced into their gender roles due to the influence of society. The primary belief is that gender is not biologically determined but a role we play as a result of what society expects of us. It’s something that we are taught as children, adopt, and share with the next generation.
Being a young, ambitious woman in a competitive world, I was mostly drawn to liberal feminism. It seemed like a perfect fit for my personality and I believed that this was the most obvious way to progress in the world as a female. This idea encouraged me to adopt a ruthless feminist mentality that turned out to be very wrong. I think at that point, I took feminism to an extreme. In my mind, a forward thinking woman/modern woman/ woman exercising her female rights was someone who:
ü Was dedicated to her education and/or career- she puts her career first before anything else
ü Postponed having children because she needs to live her life to the fullest before giving up her life for someone else
ü Did not need the support of a man because she’s Ms. Independent and she can do it all on her own
ü Had strong and like-minded friends who she meets after work for drinks to talk about how successful she is doing in a ‘mans world’. If you’ve ever watched Lipstick Jungle, you would know what I’m talking about. (Side note: that show is totally underrated. Definitely check it out)
Women who didn’t fit this mould were, to me, anti-feminists and were wasting their female power. I was so snobby that I looked down on women who chose to be housewives despite their education. Hello! Do you not have dreams and ambitions? Why are you wasting your life taking care of a man when you can develop a successful career for yourself? You’re setting back the feminist movement!
…God, I was such a jerk
This line of thinking is totally wrong. Cruel even. Who am I to judge how you run your life? Who am I to determine your goals and ambitions? What really hit it home for me was when I started thinking about the psychoanalytical approach to feminism. To reiterate, these feminists believe that society dictates the roles of males and females. We learn in childhood to identify traits as either masculine or feminine simply by watching our parents. These early childhood experiences lead to gender inequality. Think about it. How many times have you heard someone (most likely a man, but I’ve heard women say it too) that women belong in the kitchen? I bet you would be less likely to believe that if you grew up watching your dad cook your meals.
Anyways, the point I’m getting at is this: if a psychoanalytically influenced feminist is fighting to strip away societal expectations for women, why are feminists fighting to reinvent new expectations for women? Why am I, a feminist at heart, telling women how to be a woman? Isn’t that exactly what psychoanalytical feminists were fighting against? I was asking women to make a shift from one kind of female to another... and that is wrong. What makes me any different from the society forcing down their expectation of women?
Ladies, you have the power and freedom to choose what type of woman you want to be. You can choose to be a career woman or a stay at home mom. That’s your choice. Embrace it. Own it. Live it. Just make sure that you strive to be the best in your chosen field. If I can tell past me about the folly of my old line of thinking, I would tell her,
“Give these women a break! You call yourself a feminist yet you’re against women! Calm yourself, yah hypocrite.”
On that note... why are women so mean to each other? We can't fight for equality if we're busy pulling at each other's hair. Get it together, girls!
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“From the
Sidelines” is the section of the blog where I post links/ information about the
pop culture references or resources I may have used in today’s post.
For more
information on feminist theories, I recommend “Gender Inequality: Feminist
theories and politics” by Judith Lorber. ISBN: 978-0-19-537522-0
Jessica Pearson
(Gina Torres)- This was the
best I can find:
Lipstick
Jungle- again, this is the best I can find:
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Man! I Feel Like
A Woman
Artist: Shania
Twain
Album:Come On
Over (1999)
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